handmade Graham crackers

Graham-style crackers made at home. By Sylvester Graham, who apparently despised refined white flour, devised his own way of milling the components of wheat separately, the endosperm ground finely, the germ and bran ground coarsely then recombined to form -- voila! -- Graham flour, the panacea for all that ails, a cure-all for a new generation, who are now all quite dead. I'm depressed already.

Snap out of it!

This is a short dough. Lots of butter in there. Lots of brown sugar too, and I would imagine that would vitiate whatever health benefits Graham attained through his specialized uniquely milled wheat. Dontchya think?

I used light brown sugar instead of dark brown sugar and I must say these crackers are lacking a certain depth. It could be because of that, and it could be because I'm totally jaded by strong spices. I suppose that could be made up by including molasses. Babies would love these. They're great with milk. I think I'll pick up some mascarpone to smear on top to jazz 'em up a little. Online recipes vary greatly. Some use an abundance of molasses other mix the cinnamon in the dough. I followed my intuition in accordance with my insane cracker-making skillz. I substituted 2 cups of my own whole wheat and that worked out fine. I think with dark brown sugar they'll be even better, and with entirely white flour you'll be well chuffed with the results.

3 cups flour

7 oz (nearly one stick) frozen butter cut into cubes

3/4 teaspoon kosher salt. (I could have used more. Maybe 3/4 teaspoon regular table salt will do)

1 teaspoon baking soda. (Do you see an acid in here anywhere? Is molasses an acid? Is brown sugar considered acidic? Why the baking soda? What's it for? I do not have the answers to these ponderous questions.)

1/2 cup honey

1/4 milk. These two liquids are combined to add to the flour as it processes.

Cinnamon and white sugar combined for the topping. Use your own judgement here. I used about 2 Tablespoons white sugar, one teaspoon cinnamon. Just like Cinnamon toast. Which was one of my favorite things as a kid. I thought my mother was brilliant for inventing it. What? She didn't invent it? Damn. There goes another delusion.

Cut the butter into the dry ingredients. Add the liquid ingredients until a dough forms.

Bring the dough to the work surface and adjust as necessary (mine needed more flour)

Lay out a sheet of plastic wrap, dust it with flour, press the dough ball into a flat blob, cover and refrigerate for a about an hour or so. The idea is the have the flour autolyze and the ample butter to re-harden.

Divide the dough in two. Return one half to the refrigerator. Roll out 1/2 the dough. I like to do this directly on Silpat mat because they're excellent for this. If not Silpat then parchment paper. If not parchment, then just forget the whole thing! I jest. If not those two expedients, then carefully lift onto a slightly dusted cookie pan. Maybe there's enough butter in these to prevent sticking, I don't know, I never tried that, I mean, talk about living dangerously.

375°F / 190°C for 11-15 minutes. Watch them like a hawk. Like a hawk that has his eyes on a vole in the distance. A hungry hawk. That's it, a hungry hawk with great eyesight watching a careless vole who is frolicking around getting lost in the wonder of its environment and has momentarily let down its guard. A hawk that is so ready to swoop and strike that it's not even funny and the whole world can feel the tension and the drama. Because nobody likes burnt Graham crackers.

All of this has made me so hungry for, guess what, Graham crackers and milk.