things wot i made then ate: steak and scalloped potato

First, if English is not your first language, please do be confounded by the title up there. The phrase 'scalloped potatoes' is a catachresis in English that is so commonly used it has become standard, so much so, I believe that if you were to use the correct word 'escalloped potatoes,' you'd be considered something of a nut. So just go with the program and say the thing wrongly in order to fit in, like I do.

Second, the steak really is that black.

Rosemary, thyme, black peppercorn, house mix of various dry chile flakes, in case you are wondering. It is not important, it could be anything. It almost had mostly coriander seed but I nixed that idea for no good reason at all.

[Did you know you can plant those coriander seeds and they will grow? Fact. The thing about coriander seeds that I learned at length by reading dozens of web pages until finally I landed on a vendor who offered 'split' coriander seeds is that each little round pellet is actually two seeds held together by a very tough outer shell. That shell protects the seeds and prevents them from germinating all at once. In case something untoward happens to one year's growth, some of the seeds are held back because their protective shell failed to deteriorate. It is the reason why two plants sprout from one precise spot, and why coriander is so unreliable in germinating in the number planted. When you break them apart by rubbing, the result is not two perfect little hemispheres but rather two goofy looking irregular seeds with a bunch of extra junk.]

I have now officially worn out three of these coffee grinders. The blade loosened and now the motor runs but the blade doesn't move. I think I can fix this one with epoxy, but those creeps at the Culinary Institute of America must have come in here when I wasn't home and stolen my epoxy, because the dual tube thing is not in the drawer for glue. Damn those spies and their evil antics. I am so tired of them vexing me.

So there's that. The meat sits on the counter for longer than the Health Department would allow, rising to room-temperature, basking in its dry rub while I get on with other things.

I have one potato, but it is kind of big. This is escalloped potato for one. With half an onion, and cheese, and enough topping for four escalloped potatoes, at least 2/3 will be held over.

This is the famous EGG cheese from the Parma region of Italy.

Psyche! I scrounged all around the cheese bin, picked up all kind of odds and ends, but no Parmigiano Reggiano at all, except this remnant. Could I make use of it? Check out how little I had to work with. It would be supplemented with Asiago. This is for the topping. Another cheese is for the mixture, the sauce, underneath the topping.

This is a processor that comes with the mixer ↑. It is a weird little thing similar to a Cuisinart except smaller and goofier. It processed the topping admirably. The topping contains:

* Parmigiano cheese, +Asiago in this case

* A handful of rolled oats

* A handful of sourdough breadcrumbs that have languished in the freezer for half a year

* Two tablespoons very cold butter.

* Salt

If the topping were for something sweet, say an apple something or other, then I would have added brown sugar and probably cinnamon.

I made too much topping. In that moment when I realized there was too much and that storing it would be more problem than it is worth, I considered tossing it out. I almost did toss it out. But I decided right then to go ahead and add it even though it was way too much. I learned something tonight. There is no such thing as too much topping.

The mixture contains milk. (2%) Lame. I do not have anything with more fat so I used what I have. The milk was added immediately to the potato to prevent it from oxidizing. The starch on and through the potato is needed to thicken a sauce. No other thickening agent is added. Unless you count cheese as a thickening agent. There is less that two ounces of a Wisconsin cheddar, and approximately one ounce of butter.

The thing that distinguishes this escalloped potato from all the other escalloped potatoes in the Milky Way galaxy is the use of those dadgum mild roasted chile peppers that are marketed in tins. I still have a lot of those left, opened in error previously and in need of a purpose. *ding* They could be used here! See how this extemporaneous stuff works? This turned out to be one of my better serendipitous mistakes, that and the excess of topping.

Okay, so the potato is in the oven. I drive the front-loader into the kitchen and lift the heaviest cast-iron pan I own out of the cabinet. Or possibly I just thought that and really used my arms. It is bigger than it need be and it is hotter than reasonable. The pan is smoking before any oil is drizzled onto it. What's up with that? I wash the thing. I turn on the wind machine and aimed it at the fire alarm. That thing screams like a banshee at the first trace of smoke.

The steak looks like a t-bone but it is not. It is an inexpensive slice of a butt roast in the shape of a steak. It is a fairly tough cut prepared this way. Best suited for guys like Richard Kiel, the James Bond villain with the steel teeth, named Jaws.

The camera was sitting right there when I tore into this steak. The white stuff is sea-salt ↓. (Is this lens amazing, or what? It's a 50mm, 1.4. No extra lighting. I set the aperture and let the camera calculate the shutter speed and the ISO. ) The meat was cooked for about one minute on each side. It rested for ten minutes. I wanted to show how the interior stayed red even though the cut is rather thin. That there takes PRACTICE and intuition. *buffs nails on shirt*