chile omelet

This is a long photo essay for a very simple omelet. The idea arose from those chiles down there ↓. I have about 10 x this much shown on the plate. I opened two cans of these chiles for the tamales prepared previously where one can was surplus. It was a mistake and now I must live with it. Or I must waste the chiles, and if that is not a crime against humanity, it is at least a shame to food-conservation. The chiles appear to be of the mild New Mexican type. They are delicious but with virtually no capsaicin heat. Therefore the heat quotient of the omelet is enhanced by the addition of habanero flakes in an amount small enough so that they will not blast the face off the diner, that would be myself, as with a flame thrower. 

I have been making omelets for as long as I could hold a pan. I never order them out because the silly chefs can never do them as well as I can do myself. No brag, just FACT. They irritate me with their dalliance and their dawdling. If I was their head chef, I'd go all Gordon Ramsey on their asses, if you know what I mean, and I think you do. Anyway, I still do not know what to do with the rest of all those chiles. 

But I am hungry. And I am hungry for protein. So I will have it in two types, three, counting the omelet. 

Mixed meat patty ↑ formed earlier in bulk and frozen; beef, lamb, and pork, ground at home because there are laws forbidding such mixing of meats, intended to protect us, I suppose. Cooked gently and quickly in a frying pan.

Tofu soaking in a marinade ↓ I invented myself from a combination of my favorite things that I discovered go well together. I forgot to add garlic and ginger. No matter. It is delicious without it and it gives me something to look forward to later on. After marinading long enough to affect the tofu, a scant level teaspoon of corn starch was whisked into the liquid so that it would thicken as it heated.

Purdy, innit  ↑.

But I must get on now with preparing a mise en place for the omelet, for they happen quickly and eggs wait for no chef. Shut up, I'm pretending to be a chef over here. 

Asadero is a Oaxacan cheese. Oaxaca (Wa-ha-ka) is a state in Mexico. Asadero means 'roasting'. It is a meltable stretching cheese. It is more delicious than you might think. 

The tomato is for the tofu, to help it be more interesting. The meat patty is already interesting because it is made of three types of meat combined. Still, it gets some cheese and it benefits from the sauce. 

You will notice this plate to be inspired by the French, although their omelets are usually plain and not stuffed as we tend to do here, by Mexico, with their reliance on chiles, and by Japan, with its unique ingredients; sake, mirin, fermented anchovy fish sauce, shoyu, and tofu. 

Everything is ready. Observe: a master in his own mind at work. In my impetuous youth, I used to make omelets in mere seconds over high heat. I destroyed countless pans this way, or possibly three pans, and I considered that part of the deal with making omelets. I shook the pan violently to dislodge the curd and build it up toward the center. I put on quite a show, for I was nothing if not a showman. I am certain that whoever chanced to see me was impressed. 

But now I use low heat and treat the eggs gently and with kindness, as one would handle a baby chick, if that egg ever had a chance to get fertilized and develop into a chick. Oh no, now I'm getting sad again. Hold on. 

Back. 

So we have low heat. The egg begins to set around the edges. 

The egg curd is pushed toward the center and lifted so that liquid egg flows into the vacated areas. 

The process is repeated until liquid egg no longer flows. The pan can be removed from the heat entirely while the egg is still partially liquid. 

You can build it up quite high this way if you wanted to, then even fold it on top of itself for a stack of folds, if you care to be ridiculous about it, as I sometimes do just for fun. 

Okay, here is the thing. Do not attempt to fold the egg as you would a burrito. Unless, of course, you actually do have a tortilla under there, then by all means, carry on with your burrito. But an omelet can be started with a partial fold or a turn, and the whole pan tip out the omelet to complete the fold on the plate. 

Now, that ↑ is an expertly formed and turned out omelet that is stuffed to maximum in the American style. Try doing that and photographing it at the same time. I dare you.