pineapple, banana bread

They say, they being the bien pensants of the cooking instructional world, and they say it a lot, that baking is a precise science and must be adhered to with strict obedience, unlike regular cooking which is more of an art. 

Yet you can go online and for any given recipe will find at least 100 different precise list of ingredients with formulaic instruction. If those posts have comments available to them, then you will see further that nearly every commenter makes their own adjustments to suit their own needs and tastes. 

So where does that leave you? I do not know. What, do I look like some sort of culinary sociologist over here? 

But srsly, I've got to stop messing around and settle down into something more scientific, precise,  reliable and finally replicable. Perhaps I can measure my ingredients to precise weights and then run experiments varying a single component, run trials with controls where the results are recorded, tabulated and compared. Perhaps use specialized equipment like pH testers with charts that inform the necessary amounts of various ingredients to counteract different pH levels. Perhaps I can join groups of like-minded individuals to discuss our findings. 

Naaaaaah.

* about 1 cup chopped pineapple.

* two old medium bananas

* two cups flour, scooped out packed, then whisked to soften

* one level teaspoon baking soda

* 1 teaspoon cider vinegar

* 2 level teaspoons baking powder

* 1/4 cup dried cherries

* 1/4 cup raisins

* 1/4 cup broken pecans

* 1 stick unsalted butter, room temperature

* 3/4 cup granulated sugar

* 3 rounded teaspoons dark brown sugar

* 1/8 teaspoon sea salt

* 2 teaspoons vanilla extract

* 4 teaspoons dark rum

* 2 gigantic chicken eggs. 

* splash of milk to loosen the batter form abject stiffness. 

Bollox, I forgot cinnamon!  Didn't miss it. 

Oh! I almost forgot to mention this. Can you believe these pineapples were only $1.00 apiece?  I was putting one in my basket, for what I didn't exactly know, when right then an elderly fellow walked right up to me on his way to the back where employees go. He took a moment to urge me to stock up on pineapples because within a few days they'll go back to 5X the cost. 

"How come?" I asked inquisitively.

"Because I bought a ton for the holidays and totally overestimated demand so we ended up with a truckload and they haven't moved as I imagined they would. So I put them on sale." 

"Wow," I thought in that moment, "this guy really has power!" So that compelled me to buy two even though I really didn't need any. 

But, I mean, come on. A dollar?  These things were over seven bucks apiece on Maui. Except for the one we stole. Have I ever revealed to you the confessions of a pineapple thief?