tuna fish salad

Deconstructed tuna sandwich.

My bad. Oops, I meant to say, my bread. And my mayonnaise.

I had a few slices of bacon in an open package so I fried it in a tiny pan. It rendered a good amount of grease. I added that to the mayonnaise, the bacon bits and grease. Daring, I know, but I cannot stop myself, that's the way I roll. Upped the cider vinegar to compensate for the increased unction from the bacon grease. This is a whole new dimension to tuna salad that would probably get me kicked out of Le Cordon Bleu had I ever bothered to apply and then be accepted. But djya know what I have to say to those kicker outers? "Mordez moi, vous traditionalistes," that's what. ))) pop (((

I have two types of canned tuna. They're both from the same company but one is very bad and the other one is OK. The label on the bad one reads, "Chunk Light Tuna in water." It is so bad there is no redeeming it. Don't even feed it to your cat or your cat will become depressed. There's little worse than a pet that becomes convinced the human they own doesn't love them anymore. The so-so tuna label reads,"Solid White Albacore in water." I'd prefer they were both packed in oil. This low-fat fixation gets on my nerves. I think it's an excuse to make everything worse.

I also have frozen tuna. The idea of using it for something stupid as this didn't occur to me.

So there you have it: canned tuna, mayonnaise, sweet pickle relish, diced onion, diced celery, bacon bits. This is children's food. Designed for those little ones utterly devoid of discriminating culinary taste. I suppose it could be de-sweetened and adultified with fresh tuna, or some other fish, include shrimp or lobster, with a specially prepared sauce that isn't mayonnaise, like maybe hollandaise or some other sauce with lemony goodness, olives, capers, roasted garlic, spinach, artichoke hearts, caviar, scallions instead of onions, that sort of thing, but then it would be something else entirely and no longer tuna fish salad which is decidedly and irrecoverably déclassé.