poached eggs, Hollandaise

With spinach, Florentine, if you like. The spinach was marketed frozen and heated for a previous meal and something had to be done with it. I forget what it contains, I think just a splash of old red wine standing in for vinegar and whatever dried herbs I used at the time, whatever it was, it is still wonderful.  

I did not add onion, scallion, garlic, or any other allium because I'm a little bit tired of that right now. 

Why bother with English muffins when I have my own sturdy bread? And frankly, my bread is better.  

No ham was harmed for this dish, for presently I am hamless, nor prosciutto, and I did not  feel like frying bacon again so there's a noticeable  but not regrettable absence of that element.  

This was dinner. I consumed 1/2 stick of butter all by myself tonight, and I'm still dropping pounds. But I couldn't help it, you see,  the sauce was so light and smooth, so delicious, that it was irresistible, and there was no point in saving the little that remained so I ate it with a spoon. 

1. I discovered a new way to make Hollandaise that is quite simple and occurs naturally. The idea follows closely regular mayonnaise except butter for oil and lemon juice for vinegar, and no mustard, but come to think of it, that isn't a bad idea.  I used an immersion blender with the whisk attachment and a pint-size mason jar. Some flecks flick out of the jar when one is less than careful. I imagine the same thing could be done with a hand-held mixer with one of the beaters removed. Or an electric drill with a beater inserted instead of a drill bit. I tried a mini processor but that's noisy and didn't work very well, and I never tried a blender although I understand that's popular too. I just don't want to scrape it out around the blade for a small amount and I don't want to clean it. 

* 1 egg yolk

* 1/4 cup melted butter

* 2 tablespoons lemon juice (adjust to suit your taste)

* 1/16 teaspoon salt

* generous grind of pepper. 

As usual, blend the egg to smoothness, slowly drizzle the hot liquid butter. SLOWLY I SAID! Then less slowly as you go along, but still slowly.  Apparently I drizzled too fast because mine remained thin. The good thing was, I had a shallow pan of water already boiling for the poached eggs, so I could cook it as with a double boiler and thicken it up.  I set the jar inside the pan of water directly touching the water and the pan, which is unlike a proper double boiler, and whisked continuously until the temperature rose to 140℉ / 60℃ which took a few minutes.  I kept lifting the jar to ensure it didn't get too hot on the bottom but I'm not sure that was necessary. The result was the most amazing tasting soft texture silky  butter imaginable. I've honestly never tasted Hollandaise this good. Ever. Even prepared by pros. In fact, I don't trust them anymore. I'm imagining them in the back with an open gigantic #10 can of Hollandaise sauce kept warm in a ban marie. And if they're not, then what is their excuse for Hollandaise that's so sub par compared with my own? Huh? What? 

That does it!  I'm never ordering Hollandaise again unless it's to see how poorly theirs compares to mine.   *exhales on fingernails, buffs on shirt* 

To poach eggs use the same small non-stick pan you use to fry breakfast eggs.  Fill it 3/4 with water and bring to gentle boil. The trick is to add both salt and vinegar to the water. One or the other will not do, both are needed to cause the albumen to hold together tightly. As it begins to set, gently loosen the egg from the bottom of the pan with a spatula and let water flow under it. The egg does tend to stick, even though it's a non-stick pan. You can use a regular spoon to drizzle hot water over the top of the egg to hasten cooking. When done to suit you, lift the egg with a slotted spoon. If necessary, trim the edges by running a knife around the edges of a slotted spoon.  <-- I read that in Michel Roux's egg book but I never felt the need to do it.  

Say you're making a brunch for ten or twelve at home and blowing the minds and winning the admiration of your peers with your mad sauce-making and egg poaching skillz, not to mention the ease of your breezy presentation.  The eggs can be reserved in a bowl of cold water and lifted out when all the plates are assembled.  Then as the compliments are heaped upon you like rose petals, you can blush demurely and feign shyness while shrugging, "eh," and with a wave, "it just comes out of me."