Monday, April 13, 2009

French dip, curly fries


I didn't make this. Every now and then I like to remind myself how stupid I used to be, or possibly still am.

Nom nom nom, smack, nom nom nom

And also because sometimes I'm just flat inexcusably lazy, what with scrounging around, heating things, wiping plates, and all.

Nom nom, swallow, nom nom nom

So today after a haircut I dropped in to Arby's.

Nom nom, wipe lips, nom nom nom

My timing was impeccable, quite by accident. There was nobody there so I walked right up and placed my order. Before my order was complete there was a crowd of some fifty customers in line.

Nom nom, dribble on chin, nom nom nom

OK FINE! Fifteen customers in line, but that's still a lot of customers to come piling in, and I missed that by no more than one minute. Can you imagine actually waiting for this?

Nom nom, slurp, nom nom nom

Deena caught me on the way back in and asked if I was slumming it.

Nom nom, burp, nom nom nom

I said, "I guess so, yes."

Belch.

The whole time I was eating this I was also thinking how much better it would be if it were just on my own sourdough bread.

Nom nom nom, smack, nom nom nom

And if it were just real au jus and not this commercial bouillon from a giant #10 restaurant tin, which incidentally means "its own juice," and believe me, this is hardly juice of its own.

Nom nom nom, lick lips, nom nom nom

And if it were just real deli roast beef.

Nom nom nom, gulp, nom nom nom

and possibly even real French fries and not these odd curly cardboard shavings things.

Nom nom nom, erp, nom nom nom

I mustn't complain, though, after all I did get two paper bags with special printing on them, a styrofoam container with its own little lid, a couple of napkins, a straw in its own little wrapper, a tall paper cup with a fitted lid, a soak-free sandwich wrapper also with special printing, plus ice, and all that counts for something dun'nit?

I hate myself.

Burp.

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