guacamole

Accept no substitutions. Simply put, this is the best guacamole on Earth. No brag, just fact.

The idea for this approach was lifted from a beginner Spanish textbook. It was illustrated with drawings, a little picture of an onion next to "cebolla," a drawing of a bulb of garlic next to "ajo," that sort of thing. Which makes its muy authentico-ness indisputable, and made it so that even a total illiterate able to decipher pictures could make it. Kind of like a Denny's menu. Egg-zakly like a Denny's menu. 'Cept differ'nt. I've made it this way ever since, and it's incomparable. Now, this is not just me blowing smoke either. Everybody, and I mean everybody goes, "Bo, this is the best ... *swoon* ... guacamole I've ever tasted! " So eventually, over time, I became convinced.

* 50% avocado and 50% tomato by weight. Just estimate this. 

* Gently squeeze the guts out of the tomato so the the dish isn't too wet.  What to do with the juice?  Drink it, of course. 

* Gently squeeze the avocado through your fingers to achieve balance of lumpy and mushy.  This cannot be achieved with a processor
* Go easy on the cumin, it's powerful.  But don't leave it out.

* Lime to taste.  Anything acid will do just fine.  Lemon, Grapefruit juice, even vinegar, especially a light one like rice vinegar.  Just get some acid in there, but lime is far and away the first choice.

* Jalapeño with care. These peppers vary widely in heat.  Canned will do.  Anything at all that is hot.  Habanero sauce, tabasco sauce, chile flakes.  Anything but chili powder, that stuff is gross -- it'll ruin your guacamole.

* Salt/pepper to taste

* Add the fresh cilantro, and BANG! day id iz.  Cilantro, like cumin, is absolutely essential.  They're two serious aromatics that speak directly of Mexico.  To omit them would be a regrettable negligence and would do a great disservice to this national treasure of Mexico.