chickpea patty with green salad

Don't you think hamburger should have ham in it? Otherwise it could be a person from Hamburg, according to generally accepted principles of English syntax. Why would anyone worth their grammatical credentials associate the prefix ham with a beef product? This confounds me. I wanted to say "chickpea hamburger," but that would muddle the nomenclature doubly bad. Therefore, I say chickpea patty.

Pat-a cake, pat-a-cake, baker's man.
Bake me a cake as fast as you can.
Pat it and roll it and mark it with a "B"
And put it in the oven for Baby and me.

I wonder what kind of cake that baker would be up to, rolling it for a baby.

Patty. That's a funny word. Hamburg patty -- it's ground schnitzel formed into a cake, vee call dem Hamburgers.

It's like ein Berliners are jelly rolls, as in ich bin ein Berliner. The "ein" changes the meaning of the sentence. That's the hazard of applying English syntax to a word for word German translation. You end up sounding foolish. Not that there's anything wrong with that. If you meant to say I am a person of Hamburg and you said ich bin ein Hamburger, you'd end up saying you're a ground schnitzel formed into a patty.

A freshman year high-school friend, Gary Hennigan tells a joke. Gary is the most obese person I have ever known, so it's doubly funny when he tells the joke with his shirt off. I believe he made it up on the spot, he was naturally quite consistently and reliably funny, we were mischievously and arrogantly denigrating hotel cooks at the time, and we considered ourselves mature.


Restaurant owner: "Ada Bell, why is there hair in these hamburger patties?"

Ada Belle: "I don't know Massa Rogers."

Restaurant owner: "Well, Ada Bell, what are you doing in there anyway?"

Ada Belle: "Nothing, Massa Rogers. I'm just sitting here mak'n these here hamburgers."

Here Gary pantomimes a woman making hamburger patties by alternately shifting hand positions.

"Patty cake, patty cake ..."

Then pats the imaginary hamburger under each arm pit.

"Patty cake, patty cake ..."


To make these patties I used ingredients you'd expect in a regular hummus except I added:

* 1 egg,
* bread crumbs
* jalapeño peppers
* Jamaican jerk
* melted butter

Regular hummus

* chick peas, canned or dried (having been soaked, of course)
* tahini (I used the tahini I made out of sesame seeds with their husks)
* olive oil
* garlic
* lime juice
* S/P